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I talked to my mother in law for an hour last night. The good news is that I didn't stab myself in the eye with an icepick before the call was over. That woman drives me NUTS! She complains more than any person on the planet. No one has ever been nice to her in her whole life. Yes her mother is a bitch and her father is dying. Yes her husband is an asshole and she is morbidly obese. Yes two of her three children want very little if anything to do with her because she loves to guilt people and whines ALL the damn time. I know all this and MOST of it is her own fault!! She refuses to spend ANY time with my children to get back at me for not letting her be alone with them after she started undermining my parenting decisions and screaming at me in front of my children. And she bottles things up and then yells at me for not spending EVERY MINUTE in the kitchen during holidays while chasing me ( 9 months pregnant) to my car and screaming to my 3 year old that she LOVES him!!( oh and that other kid you have) Even though your mommy is being a YOU KNOW WHAT!! Yeah. That was 3 days before I gave birth to my daughter. I didn't call her when she was born. Then we spoke to maybe 3 times that whole next year. They lived one street away from us at the time. My husband says he does not care if we NEVER speak to her again. My now 5 year old (the one she LOVES) was visiting his uncle and cousin about 10 hours from where we live. MIL was there too and REFUSED to give him a ride back home. 20 minutes from where she was going THE SAME DAY. She made BOTH her sons drive 10 hours they didn't have to just because she is still trying to get back at us for being "mean to her" or something. While I was on the phone with her last night she was going ON and ON about how she felt bad for going to visit her dying father because no one would be as good as her to watch "the baby". Her other grandchild who she watches 4 days a week. While she won't even give my kid a freaking ride home she complains to my how she is missing "the baby" and she loves "the baby" and she would HATE for "the baby" to have to go to a crappy germ infested daycare. My sister in law hates that she even has to take her to my MIL but they have no money and my BIL insists on it. That is enough for now. I could go on for days but I need to catch up on LOST.

Someone Else's Secret

I was talking to a friend at work about the girlfriend of a relative of a relative who was raped by her father and her uncle from the time she was 9 until she was 14. The worst part about it was that she is deaf and the family never taught her any way to communicate so she could never tell. When she was finally sent to a school for the deaf she learned ASL and how to text but she can't read or write and she won't tell on her dad and uncle because even thought she could legally they are the sole providers for all her siblings and her mom. My friend said she understood and she had the same problem with her brother. That he had three kids and a wife to take care of and that he was only a kid when it happened. I was like WHAT?!!? My friend was raped by her brother. And now the brother and his wife are bringing the kids to the program we work at once a week. I can't even look him. And my friend is still close to her brother. It weirds me out.

If I Needed Another Reason....

to hate my mother in law and my step father in law I just found it. We started having issues with them after my husband and I had been married a few years. It is a long story that I won't get into right now but I am sure I will get around to it sometime. My Husband had the chance to have a long talk with his older brother this past week and a lot of things came out from his childhood that he didn't really remember. He remembers that his step dad hit his little half-brother (who belongs to the step dad) ALOT when he was little but as the child get bigger the beatings lessen because the child can start to fight back or tell people. Husband remembers when the little brother was about 3 Evil Step Dad (lets call him ESD for short) would hold him by one arm and them "spank" him so hard that he would fly up in the air until his feet were level with his head. He didn't hold back his rage on this little child. He just let him have it. He says he ALWAYS had whelps and bruises on his body. He remembers being thumped in the head and being given the "Vulcan death grip". What he didn't remember were the times that ESD bashed his head into his older brother's head so hard he gave Older Brother (OB) a concussion. OB said that happened as least twice. The most disturbing thing that he heard however was the time that my Husband got in ESD's way when getting out of the car. They had been on a road trip and the boys had done really well in the car (Husband was about 6 at the time). Little husband opened his door as ESD was trying to walk by to get to the trunk. ESD waited for little husband to get out and shut the door then he stepped on the back the back of his shoe and kicked him in the back so his shoe came off and he went flying to the ground. Then ESD picked up little husbands shoe and threw it as far as he could down the hot south Texas black top. OB tried to go get it but ESD screamed at him and made little husband do it himself. Barefoot. In the summer. He got burns and blisters all over the bottom of his baby foot and ESD yelled at him for crying. His mother sat there and said NOTHING. OB tried to help little husband as much as he could for the next few weeks while his foot healed. ESD would yell at little husband for walking funny or being slow. This just makes me SICK. It is beyond abusive and it has effected Husband more than he realizes. OB asked him how many people he trusts. Husband said 3. Maybe 4. Only me. OB and his real dad. Maybe little brother. Ob said OK do you have a best friend? NO? That's because the people who we were supposed to be able to trust hurt us. When people tell you a sob story do you feel sorry for them? NO? That's because Mom complaned ALL the damn time but does nothing but sit back and watch while doing nothing. I knew that he had a rough childhood but I did't realize how rough. Besides the beating they were poor. Really poor. So ESD moved them to a tiny town in south Texas where they were the only white kids around and everyone beat them up and called them names. No wonder he has trust issues.

Clearing Up

I am Constance the Sixteenth and also Constance the Seventeenth. When I got the Gmail account for the 16th it magically added itself to my other blog. I thought I was signed out at the time but since I didn't have Gmail before it used the new Constance account as my default email address and showed up on the dashboard. I can not for the life of me delete the Gmail account and so I had another Constance who I know in real life make me Constance the Seventeenth. There are no pink apartment bitch fights that I know of. :)

The Things That Keep Me Up At Night

I have not been sleeping well lately and last night I kept waking up and thinking about our pink apartment. I know it is really silly but I keep wondering how close it is to a Target because I really want to get the deals and 90% off chocolate that Constance the First is getting. So when we get settled in lets go shopping, OK?

I was also thinking of all the posts I can do now that I have a secret blog. I can talk about sex and my crazy life before I got married and had kids and about secrets other people tell me and that I don't talk about anywhere else. I am really kind of excited!!

The other thing that kept me up last night was Constance the Sixteenth. I was SUPPOSED to be the Sixteenth Constance but somehow she linked into my real life blog and likes it there. When I log on as the real me the email that now pops up is her's. It don't have ANY idea how that happened and I can't figure out how to delete a Gmail account. Not only that but it is somehow connected to the hotmail account I share with my husband and he woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me if I made a Constance the Sixteenth account of if we had been hacked. I told him I did and he let me go back to sleep without question but I'm sure he will want to know what it is about at some point. I will just tell him it is secret online women's biker gang and to drop it if doesn't want to get hurt. :)

Moving In

Wow! A secret blog!! Now I can go on about what a crazy bitch my mother in law is!! And my apartment is pink! And I have secret friends here! I plan to link all the Constances' when I get a chance but for now you can just go see the original.