"Man Work"

My Lovely Husband,

I love the fact that I can stay home with the kids. I really do appreciate that you go to work and make the money so that can happen. I'm so glad you do the bills, mow the grass, and change the oil in my mini van. I know you work hard. I really do. BUT.... When at the end of the day you come home and sit on your ASS and do not a damn thing I do NOT appreciate it! I made dinner, did your laundry, cleaned the house, and took care of your four kids all day long! Do I not get to sit down for a minute and "decompress"?! It is NOT as easy as you seem to think it is! When you walk in the door is not the first time all day that the baby has been SCREAMING his baby head off! He does it all damn day! I'm sorry if he gives you a head ache. I'm sorry if the older kids fighting makes you crazy. I know we have a big house and 2 cars and a bunch of the stuff to pay for but sometimes your "MAN WORK" as you call it is not enough!! I don't mean to say you don't do anything around here. It came out wrong when I told you that. I know your job is stressful and you are tired but I am too! You have slept through the night every night but 2 since our 6 week old was born and when I did wake you up you acted like I committed some grave sin asking you to hold the baby while I cleaned up regurgitated chocolate cake and hot dogs off the carpet.

I know you have been dipping since you were 16 and I have been asking you forever to stop but HELLO the day our child is born is not really a geat time! Postpartum hormones are a bitch and you being even bitchier than I am because you are "nicin" all the time pisses me the hell off!! I know dipping is three times more adictive than smoking and 5 times harder to quit. You have told me. MANY times. I love that you are quitting and I know that it is so stresful at work that it is hard to quit while you are there but THIS is stressful too! Being all snappy and pissy and acting like a prick does not make this better for ANYONE!

I know you have a great job and without it we would be TOTALLY FUCKED. I know it was a one in a million chance that you would get a job that pays $80,000 without a college degree. I know you have to work your ass off to be the best that anyone has ever seen but could you please bring some of that home? NOT the working part ...you bring plenty of that home. The part where you try HARD to make everyone like you and do what you can to make things the best they can be. Bring some of that home! And speaking of the money you make a lot! Why do you act like we are so poor? I know you grew up poor but WE are not poor now! I know we have a bit of debt but it will get paid off soon and I am doing what I can. So please stop making it seem like we are going to be living in a box instead of a 2700 square ft house! We are fine! Stop worring all the time!!

I really do love you but if you could just be a little nicer, help out a little with my "Woman Work"and calm the fuck down I would be forever greatful.

Love, Your wife

If I Needed Another Reason....

to hate my mother in law and my step father in law I just found it. We started having issues with them after my husband and I had been married a few years. It is a long story that I won't get into right now but I am sure I will get around to it sometime. My Husband had the chance to have a long talk with his older brother this past week and a lot of things came out from his childhood that he didn't really remember. He remembers that his step dad hit his little half-brother (who belongs to the step dad) ALOT when he was little but as the child get bigger the beatings lessen because the child can start to fight back or tell people. Husband remembers when the little brother was about 3 Evil Step Dad (lets call him ESD for short) would hold him by one arm and them "spank" him so hard that he would fly up in the air until his feet were level with his head. He didn't hold back his rage on this little child. He just let him have it. He says he ALWAYS had whelps and bruises on his body. He remembers being thumped in the head and being given the "Vulcan death grip". What he didn't remember were the times that ESD bashed his head into his older brother's head so hard he gave Older Brother (OB) a concussion. OB said that happened as least twice. The most disturbing thing that he heard however was the time that my Husband got in ESD's way when getting out of the car. They had been on a road trip and the boys had done really well in the car (Husband was about 6 at the time). Little husband opened his door as ESD was trying to walk by to get to the trunk. ESD waited for little husband to get out and shut the door then he stepped on the back the back of his shoe and kicked him in the back so his shoe came off and he went flying to the ground. Then ESD picked up little husbands shoe and threw it as far as he could down the hot south Texas black top. OB tried to go get it but ESD screamed at him and made little husband do it himself. Barefoot. In the summer. He got burns and blisters all over the bottom of his baby foot and ESD yelled at him for crying. His mother sat there and said NOTHING. OB tried to help little husband as much as he could for the next few weeks while his foot healed. ESD would yell at little husband for walking funny or being slow. This just makes me SICK. It is beyond abusive and it has effected Husband more than he realizes. OB asked him how many people he trusts. Husband said 3. Maybe 4. Only me. OB and his real dad. Maybe little brother. Ob said OK do you have a best friend? NO? That's because the people who we were supposed to be able to trust hurt us. When people tell you a sob story do you feel sorry for them? NO? That's because Mom complaned ALL the damn time but does nothing but sit back and watch while doing nothing. I knew that he had a rough childhood but I did't realize how rough. Besides the beating they were poor. Really poor. So ESD moved them to a tiny town in south Texas where they were the only white kids around and everyone beat them up and called them names. No wonder he has trust issues.