"Man Work"

My Lovely Husband,

I love the fact that I can stay home with the kids. I really do appreciate that you go to work and make the money so that can happen. I'm so glad you do the bills, mow the grass, and change the oil in my mini van. I know you work hard. I really do. BUT.... When at the end of the day you come home and sit on your ASS and do not a damn thing I do NOT appreciate it! I made dinner, did your laundry, cleaned the house, and took care of your four kids all day long! Do I not get to sit down for a minute and "decompress"?! It is NOT as easy as you seem to think it is! When you walk in the door is not the first time all day that the baby has been SCREAMING his baby head off! He does it all damn day! I'm sorry if he gives you a head ache. I'm sorry if the older kids fighting makes you crazy. I know we have a big house and 2 cars and a bunch of the stuff to pay for but sometimes your "MAN WORK" as you call it is not enough!! I don't mean to say you don't do anything around here. It came out wrong when I told you that. I know your job is stressful and you are tired but I am too! You have slept through the night every night but 2 since our 6 week old was born and when I did wake you up you acted like I committed some grave sin asking you to hold the baby while I cleaned up regurgitated chocolate cake and hot dogs off the carpet.

I know you have been dipping since you were 16 and I have been asking you forever to stop but HELLO the day our child is born is not really a geat time! Postpartum hormones are a bitch and you being even bitchier than I am because you are "nicin" all the time pisses me the hell off!! I know dipping is three times more adictive than smoking and 5 times harder to quit. You have told me. MANY times. I love that you are quitting and I know that it is so stresful at work that it is hard to quit while you are there but THIS is stressful too! Being all snappy and pissy and acting like a prick does not make this better for ANYONE!

I know you have a great job and without it we would be TOTALLY FUCKED. I know it was a one in a million chance that you would get a job that pays $80,000 without a college degree. I know you have to work your ass off to be the best that anyone has ever seen but could you please bring some of that home? NOT the working part ...you bring plenty of that home. The part where you try HARD to make everyone like you and do what you can to make things the best they can be. Bring some of that home! And speaking of the money you make a lot! Why do you act like we are so poor? I know you grew up poor but WE are not poor now! I know we have a bit of debt but it will get paid off soon and I am doing what I can. So please stop making it seem like we are going to be living in a box instead of a 2700 square ft house! We are fine! Stop worring all the time!!

I really do love you but if you could just be a little nicer, help out a little with my "Woman Work"and calm the fuck down I would be forever greatful.

Love, Your wife

The Things That Keep Me Up At Night

I have not been sleeping well lately and last night I kept waking up and thinking about our pink apartment. I know it is really silly but I keep wondering how close it is to a Target because I really want to get the deals and 90% off chocolate that Constance the First is getting. So when we get settled in lets go shopping, OK?

I was also thinking of all the posts I can do now that I have a secret blog. I can talk about sex and my crazy life before I got married and had kids and about secrets other people tell me and that I don't talk about anywhere else. I am really kind of excited!!

The other thing that kept me up last night was Constance the Sixteenth. I was SUPPOSED to be the Sixteenth Constance but somehow she linked into my real life blog and likes it there. When I log on as the real me the email that now pops up is her's. It don't have ANY idea how that happened and I can't figure out how to delete a Gmail account. Not only that but it is somehow connected to the hotmail account I share with my husband and he woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me if I made a Constance the Sixteenth account of if we had been hacked. I told him I did and he let me go back to sleep without question but I'm sure he will want to know what it is about at some point. I will just tell him it is secret online women's biker gang and to drop it if doesn't want to get hurt. :)